Doomsday Wrestling Champion
Charlene Lonestar
The 16-year-old wonder girl of Doomsday Wrestling!
Why did Charlene enter the world of pro wrestling? Because it was her destiny!
As the daughter of legendary ring announcer, Tex Lonestar, this sport is in her blood. She couldn’t resist the call to be between those ropes. She didn’t choose wrestling. Wrestling chose her!
And Tex was short a wrestler one night and made her fill in.
It was meant to be.
Doomsday Wrestling Champion
Charlene Lonestar
The 16-year-old wonder girl of Doomsday Wrestling!
Why did Charlene enter the world of pro wrestling? Because it was her destiny!
As the daughter of legendary ring announcer, Tex Lonestar, this sport is in her blood. She couldn’t resist the call to be between those ropes. She didn’t choose wrestling. Wrestling chose her!
And Tex was short a wrestler one night and made her fill in.
It was meant to be.
click to see more about Doomsday Wrestling’s athletes
Tex Lonestar
While the amazing athletes of Doomsday Wrestling fight it out in the ring, Tex Lonestar does a little wrestling of his own. But it doesn’t involve headlocks and bodyslams, he wrestles with feelings and emotions while he commentates all of the action you see taking place within the squared circle!
He also washes all of the wrestler’s jock straps and mops the locker room after every event.
Tex Lonestar
Monty Del Monte
In this sport, you can’t get by with just brawn, you also need an equal dose of brains and business savvy. And a complete lack of shame.
“Top Banana is the most talented individual I have ever represented”, says Monty Del Monte, manager of 4 time Doomsday Wrestling Champion, the Top Banana.
Before entering the world of pro wrestling, Del Monte managed a long line of acting cats that appeared in various television cat food advertisements. He was on top of the world until it was discovered that he had been giving anabolic steroids to his feline clients.
Blackballed and disgraced, Del Monte had nowhere to go. He had no choice but to enter the only industry in which he could manage athletes that were at least as smart as house cats.
Monty Del Monte
Charlene Lonestar
The 16-year-old wonder girl of Doomsday Wrestling!
Why did Charlene enter the world of pro wrestling? Because it was her destiny!
As the daughter of legendary ring announcer, Tex Lonestar, this sport is in her blood. She couldn’t resist the call to be between those ropes. She didn’t choose wrestling. Wrestling chose her!
And Tex was short a wrestler one night and made her fill in.
It was meant to be.
Charlene Lonestar
Hot Flash
At 58 years old, this woman may not be able to reproduce anymore but she can give birth to victories in the ring.
One of the most beloved athletes in all of Doomsday Wrestling, the Menopausal Mauler is ready to bring the heat!
Hot Flash
Top Banana
The Potassium Powerhouse! Top Banana might be the most hated athlete to ever lace up a pair of wrestling boots. This man will break every rule in the book to get the 10 lbs. of aluminum around his waist.
And not only is Top Banana armed with devastating maneuvers such as the Banana Bomb, the Banana Split Suplex, and the dreaded Banana Pudding Stretch, he also maintains the services of wrestling manager extraordinaire, Monty Del Monte.
Many critics and sports analysts believe that these 2 loathsome individuals are the main reason as to why professional wrestling isn’t an Olympic event yet.
Top Banana
Russian Bear
Ah, the 80s – a much simpler time. Rubik’s Cubes. Boy George. A failing economy. The Cold War. Russian Bear is here to make sure we don’t forget all of these wonderful things.
The last of the Soviet Super Soldiers, this man has not gotten the memo yet that the Soviet Union is no more.
Russian Bear
Animalia
She’s wild! She’s feral! She might have fleas.
The woman known as Animalia the Untamed was discovered living amongst a pack of wild dogs behind a Waffle House in Baytown, TX.
In her brief time with Doomsday Wrestling she has already “marked her territory” in various places in the locker room and has also caused 8 other wrestlers to update their rabies vaccinations. She’s definitely making an impact!
Animalia
the Untamed
Lunchador
Very little is known about the origins of this sandwich-faced grappler.
Some say his father was a club sandwich and his mother a martial arts world champion.
Some say he fell into a vat of experimental Doritos flavoring.
Some say he lives inside a combination Pizza Hut & Taco Bell.
Wherever he came from, the walking snack attack exploded onto the Doomsday Wrestling scene and quickly become a fan favorite (mostly due to his love of snacking and tendency to share those snacks with his fans).
In the ring, this superstar is hungry for 2 things: winning and pretty much any food.
Lunchador
El Baño
The toilet toting luchador! El Baño has come to Doomsday Wrestling for one reason…to flush out the competition!
That’s right folks! El Baño is here to keep things flowing and to keep the great state of Texas regular with amazing athleticism and breathtaking maneuvers that will make your bowels quiver with delight!
Who’s down with the yellow and brown?!
El Baño
Russian Cub
Frozen in a massive block of ice for over 3 decades, The Russian Cub has been unleashed upon Doomsday Wrestling as the Soviet Union’s deadliest weapon.
Little does he realize that the Cold War is long over and his homeland no longer exists. We have tried to tell him this several times but he is still bent on conquering the world. Maybe one day he will watch television or read a newspaper and get caught up with modern times.
Until then, watch out you capitalist pigs!
Russian Cub
Doll Face
The being known only as Doll Face was purchased off of eBay by ring announcer Tex Lonestar as a sweet 16 birthday present for his daughter, Charlene. Little did he know, the doll was haunted!
Tex tried his hardest to get rid of it:
-He buried it in the woods.
-He set it on fire.
-He threw it in a lake. But it still kept coming back!
Tex had no choice but to put it on the roster and make it a wrestler. What could go wrong?
Doll Face
Sister Blister
Bar NUN, she is one of the fiercest competitors in Doomsday Wrestling!
A ruthless competitor, Sister Blister is known to pull out all of the stops in the ring. Including but not limited to spankings, burning her opponents with holy water, and exorcisms.
The rest of the locker room had better be on its best behavior because the Disciplinarian of Devastation aims to give the world of professional wrestling a giant whack on the knuckles!
JOKE OF THE DAY: Who does Sister Blister have a crush on? NUN of your business! Hahaha!
JOKE OF THE WEEK: What is Sister Blister’s favorite martial arts weapon? NUN-Chucks! Hahaha!!
JOKE OF THE YEAR: What is Sister Blister’s favorite workout video? NUNS of Steel! Hahaha!!!
Sister Blister
Twerkules
The man who worships at the altar of the burning gluteus maximus! In the world of professional wrestling, Twerkules is known for one thing . . . his indestructible derrière.
Legend has it that this gluteus gladiator once derailed a train with his backside. When Twerk is in the ring, he is the booty king!
Twerkules
Precious Jules
This mysterious creature has one of the most unique styles of offense ever seen in the ring! This includes murder, mind control, impregnating his opponents with clones of himself, and shedding his skin like a snake.
Precious Jules is very unorthodox.
He also likes to wave his butt around a lot.
Precious Jules
La Dee Da
She’s furious! She’s luxurious! She’s La Dee Da! The self-proclaimed Fist of the A-List!
La Dee Da entered the world of professional wrestling in hopes of getting more followers on Instagram. Since then, the locker room has never been more annoyed. Master of such holds as the dreaded Hissy Fit Neckbreaker, no one on the Doomsday Wrestling roster can match this woman in arrogance. Or vocal fry.
For what she may lack in size, strength, or wrestling ability, she more than makes up for in duck face.
FUN FACT: La Dee Da is the official spokes-model for over 3 dozen failed vape shops!!
La Dee Da
Monkey Boy
On loan from the Houston Zoo, Monkey Boy is the first wrestler ever raised in captivity. Even though he has made excellent progress with social interactions, there doesn’t seem to be much humanity left in the poor boy.
And while he is easily distracted by ringside fans and shiny objects, once the bell rings he is not to MONKEYED with! (Hah!)
All we need to do now is toilet train him.
Monkey Boy
Mr. Cuddles
This is one tough kitty! The feline fury known as Mr. Cuddles is making biscuits all over the competition here at Doomsday Wrestling.
With his natural agility, 9 lives, and trademark finishing maneuver “Feline Leukemia” this is one wrestler who destined for great things in the squared circle.
Sadly though, he’s been neutered.
Mr. Cuddles
BoJoffo
After being trapped in a lamp for over 12 centuries, BoJoffo the Immortal Genie is finally free and ready to make up for lost time by entering the world of pro wrestling!
But BoJoffo’s journey to join the roster here at Doomsday Wrestling wasn’t an easy one.
At first, the board of directors of Doomsday Wrestling deemed that the use of magic (especially genie magic) would give him an unfair advantage over the other wrestlers. So BoJoffo called his lawyer. It was then determined that the Doomsday Wrestling Official Rule Book® makes no mention of the use of magic. So, therefore, BoJoffo the Immortal Genie is now free to cast as many spells and grant as many wishes as he pleases within the squared circle!
We should probably update that rule book, huh?
BoJoffo
“Crooked” Dick Dunn
“Crooked” Dick Dunn
Death Row Flo
In need of more lady wrestlers, Tex Lonestar managed to talk the fine folks at the Texas Women’s State Penitentiary into granting one of their most dangerous inmates an occasional leave of freedom to compete in the squared circle.
Known as ‘Death Row Flo‘, she’s been convicted of everything from mass murder to jaywalking.
“Spending 23 hours a day in solitary confinement really gives her an edge when she steps between the ropes!” says Lonestar. “Plus we get a huge tax break!”
Death Row Flo cannot be reformed and just doesn’t belong in our society. We feel sorry for the poor souls who step into the ring with her.
Death Row Flo
Salty Pete
If it’s something fishy ye be smellin’, why that’s just the smell of a champ!
Mostly lucid and barely intelligible, this salty seafarer wandered into the Doomsday Wrestling ring and has since been a fan favorite.
Salty Pete once defended his title against the ever-nefarious Monty Del Monte, who tricked the fisherman into marrying one of his catch – giving a literal meaning to “sleeping with the fishes”.
Salty Pete
Tag Teams!
Call of the Wild
Turn your speakers up to 11! The Call of the Wild is here to rock the wrestling world into submission!
That’s right! If it’s too loud then you’re too old and Outrageous and Bodacious are shredding the competition like a hot lead guitar solo! These ladies are dangerous!
Armed with gallons of Aqua Net, face paint, and countless tassels, the Call of the Wild is burning up with fever. Rock n’ Roll fever.
Call of the Wild
Cream Street
These 2 men are the reason that Doomsday Wrestling’s female demographic within the ages of 12-22 has gone up 35% within the last 4 months. These 2 men have graced the cover of Tiger Beat magazine 6 months in a row. These 2 men are the architects of the Era of Sexy. These 2 men are known as Cream Street.
“Precocious” Corey Cream and “The Guilty Pleasure” Cody Cream are rising in the world of tag team wrestling inch by inch. Armed with rippling abs, glistening glutes, and plentiful pecs, these beautiful brothers want to show you that the cream really does rise to the top.
Cream Street
Society of Distinguished Gentlemen
Sir Leopold Lipstache and Baron Reginald Wilcock consider themselves to be the last true gentlemen left in the sport of professional wrestling.
Any match featuring The Society of Distinguished Gentlemen will never suffer from a lack of handshakes and sportsmanship. It’s hard to believe that a sport as classy as pro wrestling doesn’t have more refined athletes such as these guys.
It’s a shame.
Society of Distinguished Gentlemen
Stormin’ Mormons
Armed with the wisdom of Joseph Smith, Brigham Young, and 2 dozen wives, the Stormin’ Mormons have bicycled to Doomsday Wrestling all the way from Salt Lake City to spread the good word.
This tag team has introduced many opponents to the grace and holiness of The Church of Latter Day PAIN!
Stormin’ Mormons
Milk and Cookies
Ready to have fun while learning some important life lessons? Then Milk and Cookies are the tag team for you!
It’s all teddy bears and rainbows when Milk and Cookies hit the ring!
Milk and Cookies want you to say no to drugs and stay in school!
Milk and Cookies say you better be good! Or you might get tickled!
Get ready for fun!
Milk and Cookies
Referees!
Marvin Gardens
This man graduated 18th in the Houston Community College class of refereeing! A top notch official, Marvin Gardens calls it right down the middle, maintains order, and of course, counts the pinfalls.
1! 2! And I think you know what’s coming next, yeah you guessed it, 3!!
Marvin Gardens
Al Dente
Al Dente always dreamed of being an elite janitor, but he wasn’t good enough. So Al got a job at Foot Locker selling shoes. He loved it, but he wasn’t very good at that either. What was he to do?
Ever resourceful, Al combined elements of his 2 broken dreams into his current fantasy job: a Doomsday Wrestling referee! Not only does he get to mop the ring after each show, like a janitor, he gets to wear a black and white striped shirt just like they do at Foot Locker!